Do I Set This Stick Bridge on Fire?

It's like saying, hey I know I hate you and I don't want to see you ever again so I did everything in my power to make sure you're not within my reach of acknowledgement without my consent so I deleted you off from all the reachable social network sites that may have you pop out in the 'newsfeed' or made you easily accessible through its search bar and I think I must've deleted your number and your memory off my mind as well because I forgot that you have a condition that will make you depressed and have this recurring disease to break out when you are at your lowest point because your immune system is weak and you know what I really don't care because you don't matter to me BUT STILL, I want you to know what's up with me so I made sure you can see what is in my mind by having at least one person in our mutual friend list that I know you can rely on to read me and to see that I'm fine without you in my life.

Wow. How twisted is this?

What in the world were you trying to prove? That you are always right? That everything must be in your way? That I cannot have a life? That I shouldn't be happy? That some things can never change and improve? That I suck and you're awesome?

Come on. Life is not about you or me. Think for a moment. Everyone is fighting something. I may not look like I have no problem with whatever, but I'm always fighting. Some are fighting for their dear life, some are fighting for the family, some are fighting for their friendship etc etc. I am fighting as well for some of the reasons above and many more. Why must you make it so difficult by burning the bridge that we so carefully built over the years? Do you really think the foundation is built with only stick and stones? What about the kindness and love cemented through the problems and happiness shared?

While I was driving with my dad, he noticed that the sound of the engine is a bit higher than usual. My dad asked me if I can have an opportunity to ride a friend's myvi sooner or later to compare that sound. Frankly, I said to him, I don't think I'll ever have that opportunity anymore because I don't have a friend who rides a myvi. She's gone, together with him. Him definitely because he literally tried to delete me off. And my dad was surprised. He mentioned something about the financials he had to cover from a former misadventure I had with him which I have long forgotten, and for that, other parts of financial or emotional constraints I had were reminded. It is a mystery why I can accept him as he is after all these times; and all the while I kept myself quiet to keep the peace and yet he couldn't accept me for the way I am. Sigh. What to do, I don't matter anymore.

Even though I am the sacrificial lamb, I want you to be happy and I don't want to hold you back from whatever you're doing. I wish you the best in life for whatever is going to happen. Today is your day. Tomorrow is another day for me to conquer. I will pull myself together.

Before I do this, I apologize for all the wrongdoings, the misconceptions, the backbiting, the gossiping that I may have done intentionally and unintentionally with or without you. So here I am with a lighter in my hand, ready to set this stick bridge on fire... Goodbye friend.